Back From The Dead

27 Jul

It’s a new era my children.

After a long hunt for Alex James with no success, I came to a realization in life, that life is more than just raging and drinking. It’s also about the finer things in life, like women. That’s why at SOA, The Fixer has finally agreed that a) suffrage is acceptable and b) we should get a female writer.

So friends, I introduce you to Olivia Clark. May god have mercy on her soul…

Bizzare Search Terms: 2011 Edition

28 Jun

So now that I’m back in the fold I’ve been watching some of the things that random people search for that bring them to State of Affairs.  A while back, my former partner-in-crime Alex James wrote about this very same topic.  I’ve been looking through the archives and there’s some even stranger stuff, 2 years later.

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Genocide and Jesus

27 Jun

Folks, I’m not going to lie when I say a lot of things piss me off about the world.  Everywhere you look things are getting worse.  I’m not trying to be pessimistic, it’s just the way things are.  War, famine, insane natural disasters, the butchering of the ending of Lost.  It’s hard not to wonder how we’re going to make it to the next century.  If we do, it’s going to take some serious cognitive reformations before anything changes.

Now before we get into some serious existential discussion about the meaning of life, I want to talk about what’s on the top of my list that needs to be dismantled: religion.  In all seriousness, how has organized religion ever done anything other than increase the size of the vatican’s purse?  Although I could go on a rant for days about it, I’ll let Saint Carlin do it for me:

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Alex Who?

7 Jun

Hello friends,

As I sit in a newly built compound, sipping burbon and enjoying the sun, I took a gander to how my beloved blog has been doing.  Turns out my intern hasn’t been doing his job for the last six months.  On top of that, the bugger stole my 1968 Les Paul and one of the dudes from our Foosball table.  Normally the Fixer and I are on top of things, but we’ve been on assignment in….let’s just say on assignment with Jeff Oh.  I can typically talk about my goings on, but I’m pretty sure if I do, I’ll be living on a house boat for the rest of my life.  So where’s Alex James?  Looks like he took off a long time ago.  There’s an inch of dust on his cot and the black lipstick on his usual whiskey glass has long faded.

So on to business…

In lieu of the disappearance of Alex James, the Fixer has pulled me off of field work in order to take over SOA.  This means a couple of things for you and me:

1) Most regular posting – enough of this once every couple of weeks crap that has been the trend over the last year.

2) More anger – I’ve been in the bush for a long time now…and I’m pissed off.

3) Less geek stuff – Even though we’re called State of Affairs, that doesn’t mean we talk about the next video game that’s coming out.

4) More anger – A lot of douche bags out there are about to get their comeuppance.

Also, I’ve contacted Jeff Oh to bring his brand of hellfire to the forum but he’s more reliable than a two dollar crack whore.

It’s year two of SOA.  Time to bring the old girl back from the dead.

- Jim

A Book To Help You Reevaluate Your Crappy Job

20 Jan

Not everybody is lucky enough to have a job they enjoy as much as I enjoy mine.  Yes, in addition to my responsibilities as Prince of the Internet, I extend my considerable talents into multiple fields: I also operate as a freelance writer and editor-for-hire, a sometime roadie and a moonlighting musician.  It’s not so glamorous as it sounds, but I do know a lot of you, dear readers, would probably skin somebody alive for the chance to pursue the things you love to do, so many of you would count me blessed to do what I love every day.

My question to you is this: why aren’t you doing the same thing?

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State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards, Part III

23 Nov

Forty-four categories is far too much for something as fundamentally lame as the People’s Choice Awards, Lu and I have decided, but we’re married to this idea now, so we’re obligated to finish it.  So here it is: the final installment of State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards.  Today: MUSIC AND EVERYTHING ELSE THEY COULDN’T FIND A CATEGORY FOR.

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State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards, Part II

22 Nov

Good morning friends, and welcome back to Monday here at State of Affairs.  Today, Lu Galasso (of Inching Towards Mediocrity) and yours truly are continuing our castigation/mockery/sometimes serious take on this year’s People’s Choice Awards.  Friday we tackled the hilariously-underperforming Movie category, in which I was called out for electing Robert Downey Jr. as king of everything without having seen Iron Man 2.  To my detractors I say this: I couldn’t get my hands on that movie, so I rewatched Sherlock Holmes and my decision stands.  Too bad for you.

Anyway, on to part two: TELEVISION!  (Disclaimer: once again, my votes are going to be skewed a bit because I don’t really watch television, but given the choices in most of the categories, I’m going to assume whoever runs the PCAs doesn’t really watch television either.)

Straight pimpin'.

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