Forty-four categories is far too much for something as fundamentally lame as the People’s Choice Awards, Lu and I have decided, but we’re married to this idea now, so we’re obligated to finish it. So here it is: the final installment of State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards. Today: MUSIC AND EVERYTHING ELSE THEY COULDN’T FIND A CATEGORY FOR.
Good morning friends, and welcome back to Monday here at State of Affairs. Today, Lu Galasso (of Inching Towards Mediocrity) and yours truly are continuing our castigation/mockery/sometimes serious take on this year’s People’s Choice Awards. Friday we tackled the hilariously-underperforming Movie category, in which I was called out for electing Robert Downey Jr. as king of everything without having seen Iron Man 2. To my detractors I say this: I couldn’t get my hands on that movie, so I rewatched Sherlock Holmes and my decision stands. Too bad for you.
Anyway, on to part two: TELEVISION! (Disclaimer: once again, my votes are going to be skewed a bit because I don’t really watch television, but given the choices in most of the categories, I’m going to assume whoever runs the PCAs doesn’t really watch television either.)
My dear readers, I was born to be – or attempt to be – a funny guy, as some of you might have noticed. I will go to extraordinary lengths, often risking life and limb, for the benefit of a cheap laugh. Engendering amusement in others is like crack to me, as long as they’re laughing with me and not at me – but anything in a pinch, really. I guess what I’m really doing here is coming out of the closet as a total attention whore: I crave the spotlight and I crave external validation, so the two go neatly hand-in-glove with trying to be clever.