Bizzare Search Terms: 2011 Edition

So now that I’m back in the fold I’ve been watching some of the things that random people search for that bring them to State of Affairs.  A while back, my former partner-in-crime Alex James wrote about this very same topic.  I’ve been looking through the archives and there’s some even stranger stuff, 2 years later.

Genocide and Jesus

Folks, I’m not going to lie when I say a lot of things piss me off about the world.  Everywhere you look things are getting worse.  I’m not trying to be pessimistic, it’s just the way things are.  War, famine, insane natural disasters, the butchering of the ending of Lost.  It’s hard not to wonder how we’re going to make it to the next century.  If we do, it’s going to take some serious cognitive reformations before anything changes.

Now before we get into some serious existential discussion about the meaning of life, I want to talk about what’s on the top of my list that needs to be dismantled: religion.  In all seriousness, how has organized religion ever done anything other than increase the size of the vatican’s purse?  Although I could go on a rant for days about it, I’ll let Saint Carlin do it for me:

A Book To Help You Reevaluate Your Crappy Job

Not everybody is lucky enough to have a job they enjoy as much as I enjoy mine.  Yes, in addition to my responsibilities as Prince of the Internet, I extend my considerable talents into multiple fields: I also operate as a freelance writer and editor-for-hire, a sometime roadie and a moonlighting musician.  It’s not so glamorous as it sounds, but I do know a lot of you, dear readers, would probably skin somebody alive for the chance to pursue the things you love to do, so many of you would count me blessed to do what I love every day.

My question to you is this: why aren’t you doing the same thing?

State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards, Part III

Forty-four categories is far too much for something as fundamentally lame as the People’s Choice Awards, Lu and I have decided, but we’re married to this idea now, so we’re obligated to finish it.  So here it is: the final installment of State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards.  Today: MUSIC AND EVERYTHING ELSE THEY COULDN’T FIND A CATEGORY FOR.

State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards, Part II

Good morning friends, and welcome back to Monday here at State of Affairs.  Today, Lu Galasso (of Inching Towards Mediocrity) and yours truly are continuing our castigation/mockery/sometimes serious take on this year’s People’s Choice Awards.  Friday we tackled the hilariously-underperforming Movie category, in which I was called out for electing Robert Downey Jr. as king of everything without having seen Iron Man 2.  To my detractors I say this: I couldn’t get my hands on that movie, so I rewatched Sherlock Holmes and my decision stands.  Too bad for you.

Anyway, on to part two: TELEVISION!  (Disclaimer: once again, my votes are going to be skewed a bit because I don’t really watch television, but given the choices in most of the categories, I’m going to assume whoever runs the PCAs doesn’t really watch television either.)

Straight pimpin'.

State of Affairs Versus the People’s Choice Awards, Part I

Welcome back dear readers.  Yes, it’s actually me – the prodigal son of State of Affairs has returned, albeit briefly, to titillate your hate-bone once again.

My good friend Lu Galasso of Inching Towards Mediocrity, who has generously donated his time in the past while doing guest posts for SoA, informed me this morning that voting has opened for this year’s People’s Choice Awards.  For the uninitiated, the PCAs are sort of a poor man’s Oscars, Grammies and Golden Globes rolled into one – with all the pomp and circumstance that entails, no doubt.  Reading through the nominations, we found (somewhat unsurprisingly) we share a mutual distaste for most things pop-culture.  And then, after a few whiskies, we got to thinking – hey!  We’re blog writers!  Blogs exist for the express purpose of inundating the internet with our jaded opinions!  Let’s do a post on the People’s Choice Awards and give people the serious skinny on what’s good and what sucks!

Yup, just like these guys.

Commercial Break. (An SoA Guest Post)

My dear readers, you may have noticed a trend here at State of Affairs lately: namely, guest blogs.  The fact is I’ve had less and less time to devote to the blog over the last few months for a variety of reasons (only a few of which I’m able to talk about), but despite my inability to update, we have come too far together for me to abandon you and my precious webspace to internet anonymity.  So I pick the best and the brightest of my Correspondents to fill in for me during this tumultuous time.  Among my favourite bloggers on the interwebs is my good friend Lu Galasso from Inching Towards Mediocrity who has been featured here at SoA in the past, and he’s kindly agreed to fill in another of his famous Best Of Lists for today’s installment.  Take it away Lu!

(Not Lu Galasso).