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Bizzare Search Terms: 2011 Edition

28 Jun

So now that I’m back in the fold I’ve been watching some of the things that random people search for that bring them to State of Affairs.  A while back, my former partner-in-crime Alex James wrote about this very same topic.  I’ve been looking through the archives and there’s some even stranger stuff, 2 years later.

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A Book To Help You Reevaluate Your Crappy Job

20 Jan

Not everybody is lucky enough to have a job they enjoy as much as I enjoy mine.  Yes, in addition to my responsibilities as Prince of the Internet, I extend my considerable talents into multiple fields: I also operate as a freelance writer and editor-for-hire, a sometime roadie and a moonlighting musician.  It’s not so glamorous as it sounds, but I do know a lot of you, dear readers, would probably skin somebody alive for the chance to pursue the things you love to do, so many of you would count me blessed to do what I love every day.

My question to you is this: why aren’t you doing the same thing?

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State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards, Part III

23 Nov

Forty-four categories is far too much for something as fundamentally lame as the People’s Choice Awards, Lu and I have decided, but we’re married to this idea now, so we’re obligated to finish it.  So here it is: the final installment of State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards.  Today: MUSIC AND EVERYTHING ELSE THEY COULDN’T FIND A CATEGORY FOR.

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State of Affairs Versus The People’s Choice Awards, Part II

22 Nov

Good morning friends, and welcome back to Monday here at State of Affairs.  Today, Lu Galasso (of Inching Towards Mediocrity) and yours truly are continuing our castigation/mockery/sometimes serious take on this year’s People’s Choice Awards.  Friday we tackled the hilariously-underperforming Movie category, in which I was called out for electing Robert Downey Jr. as king of everything without having seen Iron Man 2.  To my detractors I say this: I couldn’t get my hands on that movie, so I rewatched Sherlock Holmes and my decision stands.  Too bad for you.

Anyway, on to part two: TELEVISION!  (Disclaimer: once again, my votes are going to be skewed a bit because I don’t really watch television, but given the choices in most of the categories, I’m going to assume whoever runs the PCAs doesn’t really watch television either.)

Straight pimpin'.

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State of Affairs Versus the People’s Choice Awards, Part I

19 Nov

Welcome back dear readers.  Yes, it’s actually me – the prodigal son of State of Affairs has returned, albeit briefly, to titillate your hate-bone once again.

My good friend Lu Galasso of Inching Towards Mediocrity, who has generously donated his time in the past while doing guest posts for SoA, informed me this morning that voting has opened for this year’s People’s Choice Awards.  For the uninitiated, the PCAs are sort of a poor man’s Oscars, Grammies and Golden Globes rolled into one – with all the pomp and circumstance that entails, no doubt.  Reading through the nominations, we found (somewhat unsurprisingly) we share a mutual distaste for most things pop-culture.  And then, after a few whiskies, we got to thinking – hey!  We’re blog writers!  Blogs exist for the express purpose of inundating the internet with our jaded opinions!  Let’s do a post on the People’s Choice Awards and give people the serious skinny on what’s good and what sucks!

Yup, just like these guys.

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Mystery in Marketing: Advertising and You, Part III

28 Jul

All right, all right, confession time.  Take a deep breath.  Somebody pass me my whiskey; I need to fortify myself for this.  Okay, here goes.

I am not as smart as I think I am.

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Enviro-Ecstasy, or Not: Top Five Green Sex Products

31 Mar

I have to tell you folks, I like this planet. No, I don’t hold a great deal of soft spots in my heart for the human plague that seems intent on eating it piece by piece until nothing remains but a brown rock floating in the cosmos, but Mama Earth is a pretty keen lady in my opinion. I’ve recently gotten back into being outdoorsy – I’m even going to try my hand at camping this year. I mean real camping; previously my experiences have had less to do with “camping” and more to do with “drinking in uncomfortable wooded locales”, so I’m going to do my best to expose myself to something more authentic this time around.

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