Folks, I’m not going to lie when I say a lot of things piss me off about the world. Everywhere you look things are getting worse. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, it’s just the way things are. War, famine, insane natural disasters, the butchering of the ending of Lost. It’s hard not to wonder how we’re going to make it to the next century. If we do, it’s going to take some serious cognitive reformations before anything changes.
Now before we get into some serious existential discussion about the meaning of life, I want to talk about what’s on the top of my list that needs to be dismantled: religion. In all seriousness, how has organized religion ever done anything other than increase the size of the vatican’s purse? Although I could go on a rant for days about it, I’ll let Saint Carlin do it for me:
Hello again, loyal readers. I’m currently away from the Compound for a photo shoot that’s unrelated to anything I do here at State of Affairs, but in the interest of giving you something fun and/or educational to read today (you know, because you always come here for educational purposes) I’ve enlisted my Correspondent, the Reverend Dwight Q. Fitch, to tell you about his incredible new publication. (ed. note: Reverend Dwight Q. Fitch may or may not be an ordained minister. I didn’t ask. I don’t want to know.) So enjoy this Thursday’s SoA Guest Blog, and have a great weekend.
My dear readers, I was born to be – or attempt to be – a funny guy, as some of you might have noticed. I will go to extraordinary lengths, often risking life and limb, for the benefit of a cheap laugh. Engendering amusement in others is like crack to me, as long as they’re laughing with me and not at me – but anything in a pinch, really. I guess what I’m really doing here is coming out of the closet as a total attention whore: I crave the spotlight and I crave external validation, so the two go neatly hand-in-glove with trying to be clever.
The following is an Original State of Affairs Stage Play. It is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is completely on purpose. It is a matter of public record that Pat Robertson is this big a prick, and we can only hope God Almighty is half this cool. The writer would like to acknowledge the contributions of Brent Chittenden for suggesting the topic.
Anybody remember this guy?
If you’re a child of the 80s or 90s you’ll remember Kirk Cameron from his role as Mike Seaver from TV’s Growing Pains. Turns out Kirk has gone the way of many Hollywood stars, from prominent child-actor to religious nut.