It’s a new era my children.
After a long hunt for Alex James with no success, I came to a realization in life, that life is more than just raging and drinking. It’s also about the finer things in life, like women. That’s why at SOA, The Fixer has finally agreed that a) suffrage is acceptable and b) we should get a female writer.
So friends, I introduce you to Olivia Clark. May god have mercy on her soul…
Hello friends. It’s been far too long since we had one of our little chats, and for that I’m deeply sorry. State of Affairs isn’t defunct, but we’re in a period of serious change, and as a result my myriad responsibilities as Prince of the Internet have taken me elsewhere and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. With that said, I’m going to make more of an effort to keep content coming on SoA, either personally or courtesy of my network of Correspondents in the form of guest blogs. Thanks for your patience; I really do appreciate it.
Thank you for coming back my dear readers. It’s been quite some time since I’ve last updated the much-maligned State of Affairs webspace, but I would like today to mark the beginning of a trend back to what you’ve come to expect over our almost-one-year together. I promise I have an acceptable excuse for my absence, though, and before you start buying up nails and lumber for the inevitable crucifixion, I’d like to explain what I mean
Seven days. Seven entire days with absolutely nothing to write about. Oh, I’m sure I could have found something, but frankly nothing really tickled my fancy, so I spent some time doing guest posts at Turning Down The Suck instead.
The internet is awesome, but sometimes it pisses me off. “But Alex”, you might be saying, “the internet is your bread and butter! How can you ever be angry at something that loves you so much? Why won’t you love me back? Was it something I said? I’ll make it up to you any way I can, I promise! I’ll nag less! I’ll stop sleeping around! Just come back, baby!”
December 31st; according to our widely-accepted calendar, in twelve short hours we will see 2009 out the door and into the annals of history, where it will join the countless other years in our culture’s past that weren’t really all that important. Of course that’s not true – every year is important to somebody, regardless whether anything particularly noteworthy went on in the grand scale. For example: 2009 will always hold a special place in my heart as the year my literary genius was finally recognized – on June 15th of this year I started writing for State of Affairs, and by July 23rd, Jim stepped down as head writer and handed me the reins. Since then our readership has grown into the hundreds and even thousands per day, and the success of the blog has allowed me to make inroads into new and exciting projects for the coming year.
Well folks, it’s been a brutal two months in the ghettos of South Africa. The Fixer had me on assignment to broker a deal with some Dutch land owners in Johannesburg to build a few villas in preparation for the World Cup next year. Unfortunately, they weren’t the land owner anymore, and I ended up having to barter with some Zulus on PCP. I gotta say, South Africa is a pretty fucked up place. There’s two things I hate in this world: racial intolerance, and the Dutch- and this country is stocked full of both. But by god, they’ve got sweet toques.
(don’t ask why they even have toques in South Africa)
So what does this have to do with anything? I’ll tell you: District 9.