Klingons Are The Newest Threat To America

4 Feb


From ABC Denver:

Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores early Wednesday, armed with a Klingon sword.

The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white man in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a weapon the clerk recognized from the Star Trek TV series.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd., where a man matching the previous description entered the store with a similar weapon. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk refused and the robber ran off.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a “Batleth.”

This is just hilarious. All I can say is thank god that we don’t have the technology to build light sabers or else jackasses would be using those to rob people. Wow. I didn’t realize the economy was so bad that even the Klingons had to find work. I guess killing doesn’t pay what it used to. More than likely this was a ploy by a Romulan agent trying to start a war between the U.S. and the Klingon Empire. Ever since Kronos was destroyed, the gusto of the empire hasn’t been the same. Maybe Obama will call upon Patrick Stewart to act as mediator between the two to settle any differences.

Klingons, we are your friends! Why can’t we all just get along?

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